The Experiment Gone Wrong
by Aerith Hojo
Summary: Okay...this is what happens when you're high on sugar. Anyway, Cloud, Squall, and Red XIII go to Hojo's Lab and get turned into the most horrible creatures on earth, and Sephiroth has to take care of them. Read to find out what happens. Please R &R.


Disclaimer: Never consume countless amounts of sugar, or this happens to you. Trust me, I know these things. OH and also, all of the characters in this fic are property of Squaresoft and that whole bit. This fic was made possible by my own sick and distorted imagination so uhm... have fun reading this crap, and please R&R.  
  
The Experiment Gone Wrong  
  
The lights were flashing inside that dark laboratory. Faint footsteps could be heard coming from the entrance as those brown boots of a certain blonde, spiky-headed man approached the Professor. Two companions, of course, followed him. One of which was quite furry and the other was a boy who appeared to be in his late teens. Cloud had that goofy look on his face as usual, and that visage looked even more goofy when he tripped over the cord of the machine the professor was working on, and landed face first onto the hard floor.   
"Argh...That's gonna' leave a mark"  
"OH for the love of sporks! MY EXPERIMENT! You ruined it!"  
"I just pulled the cord out, old man. Calm down. I... oh crap."  
He stood quickly, watching the wire snap against the wall as sparks were coming out of it. The machine the mad scientist was working on turned on and a great white light zapped the trio. With a scream they all blocked their eyes, and Hojo was astonished as they were changed into the most horrid beings on earth....6 year olds.   
"Holy fruit cakes...It actually worked." He laughed evilly and eyed the children with a big smirk.   
* **  
"What a perfect day for a relaxing bubble bath!" Said that silver haired gentleman as he leaned back in the tub, looking mighty peaceful. He let out a relaxing sigh and was just about to take a short nap when the haunting noise of the doorbell rang in his ears. He shot up with a start and then growled, clenching his teeth together.   
" %^*$ing Jenova's Witnesses," He said as he rose from the tub and wrapped himself in a nice warm towel. He made his way to the door, tracking water and soap through the house but he hardly cared. When he looked through the door's peephole, he could see nothing. He blinked, then shrugged, deciding to open the door anyway. Though as soon as he did he was squeezed by a spiky, blonde 6 year old, and accidentally dropped his towel.   
"UNKEE SEPHY!" Screeched Cloud as he clung to his leg rather tightly. He was starting to cut off the circulation.   
"What the hell? ...Cloud?!" He grabbed the towel quickly and covered himself up again as a cub and another child stepped into the room.   
"Mrow?"  
"Sephkins!"  
Seph's eyes bugged out and he had the most peculiar look on his face.   
"Wha? Squall? Red? Cloud? ...What the hell happened to you three?"  
"Mrow?"  
"Ol' Gwandpa Hojo shot some cwappy light at us, and we turwned into wittle kids." Said Small Cloud. He finally let go of Sephy's leg and proceded to prance around the house playing with all the soap bubbles on the floor. Seph watched him oddly as he trotted away."  
"Wow... you could even tell he's gay when he's this young." O.o  
"Hey Sephy poo head. Wets pway hide an' seeks!" Exclaimed Squall as he grabbed Seph's towel and ran around the house flailing it.   
"NUUU! Come back here!"  
He quickly covered himself and ran after Squall. Red following slowly behind.   
"Mrow"   
Seph slunk into his room quietly, so as to be rid of the children. He dried himself and got dressed.   
"There goes my bath. I hate them! My god I've spent no more than 2 minutes with them and I'm already tired. I have to find some way to change them back."  
A few hours later, the two boys were still running around the house.   
"Cwowd's a smewwy owld weft sock!" screeched Squall as he ran down the hallway, still clutching Seph's towel. Cloud ran after him, but Squall was too fast.   
"I AM NOT!"   
He stopped and started crying, sitting in a corner. The door to Seph's room swung open slowly as those black boots touched the floor of the hallway, and that ever so kind, but evil man walked over to the young Cloud. Mako-green eyes fell on Cloud coldly.   
"What the hell is the matter now?"  
"Squawl's bein' a piece of toe wint!"   
Cwowd...Uhm...I mean...Cloud... folded his arms and huffed, as Seph snatched the child from the floor and walked briskly to Squall, grabbing him as well. The two squirmed, while Seph rushed to the living room and sat them both down on the couch.   
"Alright you two. If you don't shut up, and stop running around the house, .......I'M GOING TO BEAT THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF YOU!! ...Understand?"  
He smiled sweetly. The two small boys looked at each other, both with a look of terror on their faces. They exchanged horrified glances then nodded to Seph.  
"Good...hey ...wait a sec... where's Red?"  
Those eyes of his widened, as he remembered he forgot to shut his door. He ran quickly to his room. Squall looked at Cloud out of the corner of his eye.  
"That guy's a waving psychopath."  
"Yeah I know."  
Seph screamed and dropped to his knees, watching that small cub rip apart all of his underwear.   
"YOU FRIGGING RABID CAT! YOU ATE ALL THE UNDERWEAR I OWN!"  
Red just looked up innocently at him, a pear of boxers hanging from his jaws.  
"Mrow?"  
Cloud peeked out from behind Sephiroth, who was now trying to control his heaving sobs.   
"Snoopy Boxers? Nice touch Unkee Sephy."  
"Why you little!"  
Those strong hands quickly found Cloud's throat, but Squall knocked Seph over the head with a frying pan before he could actually do anything. When Seph woke, he was tied to the chair in the kitchen as he watched the children tear the house apart. Though he didn't particularly care, because it was Cloud's villa. It was just a pain in the butt to have a toy plane poking you in the crotch.   
"Untie me you little slime sucking snot eaters!"  
Cloudy gave his "Uncle Sephy" a big toothy grin.  
"Nawt untiwl you pwomise to be nice to us."  
"Alright I promise!!! Untie me! I have to itch my nose!"  
"That didn't sound sincere enoff."  
"Erhhgghh...When I get my hands on you boy."  
"Wat'd you say Unkee Sephy?"  
"Oh nothing!"  
Just then, as if Seph's prayers were answered, Vincent walked into the villa. He looked around astonished at the giant mess then his gaze met Sephiroth's.  
"??? ....I suspect something happened those three. How'd you get tied up?"  
"No freaking crap vampire face. Untie me please!"  
So he did, and Sephiroth explained what happened to Cloud and the others.   
"You've got to help me! Change them back! Do something! I can't take it anymore!"  
He started sobbing uncontrollably on Vincent's shoulder.  
"Very well, we shall take them to see...," He let out a low growl, "Hojo."  
And that's exactly what they did, well, as soon as they cleaned the puke off of the rug, and gave Cloud a soda because he was being a whiney little brat and wouldn't shut up until he got one! O.o...Sorry...got carried away. So anyway, They were on the 33rd floor, about halfway to the laboratory, when Cloud stopped on the stairs.   
"Hey Unkee Sephy?"  
Seph looked slowly at Cloud, angrier than ever now. In fact, his left eye was even twitching.   
"WHAT? What the hell could you possibly want? WHAT IS IT!!!!???"  
"Uhm...I have to go to da baffwoom."  
Seph clenched his teeth and grabbed a hold of Cloud's hand, dragging him toward the 33rd floor bathroom. After many minutes of waiting, Cloud was finally finished and he zipped up his little fly. Then they both walked back to the stairs. Seph snorted.  
"Our friendship has just reached a new level that I never wanted it to before." (Don't take that grossly. I really didn't mean it that way -.-() )  
So they finally made it to the laboratory. Hojo explained to them that he had just fixed the machine and it was a good thing they got there when they did or the youth could be permanent. So he turned the machine on in reverse and the three were converted back to their normal ages. Thank god. Cloud blinked and looked at Sephiroth oddly. He didn't remember a thing.  
"Why do I have a sudden craving for oreo cookies?"   
"Oh Cloud! I'm so glad you're back to your original and not to mention grown up self!"  
Seph gave Cloud a big bear hug and Cloud's eyes bulged out.  
"Woah buddy. It's okay."  
He pushed himself away from the nutcase.  
"I don't even remember why we came here now."  
Squall looked at Cloud oddly.  
"But we came because you wanted to ask Hojo what to get Seph for Christm..."  
Cloud's hand covered Squall's mouth almost immediately.  
"Shut uuuuuppp."  
Squall removed his hand from his face.  
"Oh...right."  
And so the disaster was finally over, and they all went home. They were eating supper and having a good laugh as Sephiroth told them what had happened that day. Then all of a sudden, Red coughed up a piece of Seph's snoopy boxers and he got so angry he started chasing the lion around the house with a spork. Cloud just watched, confused and shrugged.  
"Eh ...at least he didn't blow chunks on the carpet again."  
"Yeah," Squall added, "I hate it when Red does that."  
When things had calmed down, the group decided to go out to get Seph some new underwear. Though he bought some really unmanly powerpuff girl boxers and some chapstick, so the other three guys were making fun of him for it. Then Sephy beat the snot out of them, and they all lived, broken nosed, and happily ever after.   
  
The End 


End file.
